Do you feel that you are always on the go, always pushing yourself? Does your Soul have time to breathe, do you take time to stretch – luxuriating in your joints and muscles as a cat luxuriates in front of a fire, light dappling on its warm fur…?
How do you nourish your soul, your body, your mind, your joy – You? Do you ever give yourself permission to daydream, to gaze out of the window, to do Nothing?
I remember being given the single of Busy Doing Nothing (in the version by Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin) for my 22nd birthday, just 3 weeks before the car accident that stopped me in my tracks [with my spine broken in two places and my pelvis in five places, I was going nowhere], and certainly meant that I had plenty of time for Doing Nothing.
And yet, in later years, my reflexologist asked me – “Why do you always push yourself?” – I suppose, because I could. In that I was alive and able to push myself. Did I feel I had to make up for lost time?
Maybe we feel guilty if we are doing nothing – the so-called Protestant work ethic: “The Devil makes work for idle hands”. Though, as another saying goes – “it’s easy to do nothing if there are lots of things you’re supposed to be doing [aka overwhelm], yet it’s strangely difficult to do nothing if that’s what you’re supposed to be doing.”
It can seem easier to keep going and keep going and keep going, than to stop, to really stop, and then start again from stillness – and that’s part of the addiction of keeping busy. And keeping busy can keep us from thinking, really thinking.
When we do that Keep Going thing, eventually our batteries will run down and run down and run down, and STOP, ending up in burn out, adrenal fatigue or adrenal exhaustion. Here are some of the simple strategies that I have learnt over the years to help me find a healthy dynamic equilibrium between work and rest.
If you regularly drink alcohol every evening, to help your mind and body relax and unwind – ie to Do Nothing – find other ways to uncoil from the tensions of the day, such as:
– Take Time to Reflect on the day just gone: not so much Morning Pages as advocated by Julia Cameron in her wonderful book The Artist’s Way, rather Evening Pages. Chapters by Dutch firm Vertellis is an excellent guided journal for reflecting on the day. Or if that feels too demanding, maybe do a spider map or mind map. I have a large A3 sketch pad which I use for my mind mapping, it’s very peaceful having the space to let my mind freewheel, and put the day to bed, as it were. Accept and let go – as that powerful quote from Rumi says – “Live like a Tree, and let the dead leaves fall”.
– Take Time to notice the New, to explore a new route for a walk, to savour a new flavour.
During Lockdown 1, did you feel that you were getting more forgetful? We need new experiences, new conversations, new vistas, to keep our minds fresh – so seek out some unexplored alleys and byways in your neighbourhood, or try a new route from a book of local walks. A late afternoon walk can be a thoughtful marker between the working day and the evening. Try a new spice mix; a new relaxing herbal tea; try out some new combinations of clothes and colours in your wardrobe. Listen to a different radio channel. Maybe rearrange some furniture to give your home a new look. And in these new things, find the little things to be thankful for – which in turn encourages you to look out for small details of delight during the day.
– Take Time to Pamper your body – have a hot shower or bath in the evening, to wash away the day and its cares and worries, and lavish on some body lotion – plus the heat will gentle down your cortisol levels. Take the time to give thanks to your body for all that it does for you.
– Take the time to Listen to some relaxing music, and to really listen to it, maybe with your eyes closed, not just on in the background while you scroll through your social media feeds…
– Take the time to Stretch or do some yoga, Tai Chi or Chi Gung, whether before supper, or during the evening as you wind down.
– and Make time for Stillness, what a friend of mine calls Quaker Time. Time to savour the sunset [or sunrise], listen to the birdsong, watch a candle flame, or listen to your breath – feel the gentle ebb and flow as the air moves in and out of your body – and feel your body really REST.
Your innermost self will thank you for it – and if you can get to bed earlier, for your 7-9 hours sleep, even better 😊